Pros and Cons

I’m sure I speak for most men in the world when I say that we hate shopping and when dragged along by our partners we simply end up complaining like small children. As a result, we try to shop as little as possible. But when that hole in our trousers grows too big to disguise as a pocket any longer, it finally becomes necessary to head out to that strange and brightly-lit shopping centre.

It was during one of those visits to the Trafford Centre that, getting fed up of having to endure the sight of hundreds of happy couples holding hands and smiling at each other, I decided to draw up a list of seven Pros and Cons of not having a girlfriend...

The Pros

1. You’re your very own cheap date
2. You can have a Big Mac and Large fries without getting scowled at
3. You’re not asked that dreaded question "Does my bum look big in this?"
4. You can buy a DVD without being told it’s cheaper to rent from Blockbuster
5. You’re not dragged around every clothes shop going*
6. You can always find a table for one at Starbucks
7. You can stare lovingly at those massive plasma televisions for hours

The Cons

1. You’ve got no one to hold hands with
2. It’s not very nice sat eating or drinking on your own
3. There’s no second opinion on those new trousers
4. You’ve no valid excuse to visit the Anne Summers store
5. You’re not dragged around every clothes shop going*
6. You’ll never get treated to a sensible lunch or nice cup of coffee
7. You’re on your own when it comes to finding the car in the car park

* I feel that this is both a Pro and Con because, whilst it can indeed be as
much fun as poking needles in your eyes, remember that your girlfriend is
invariably trying those things on for you. And let’s face it, she looks
stunning.