Total Fruit Cakes

You really have wonder if the lunatics have finally taken over the asylum that is known as the United Kingdom.

Why? Well, for over fifteen years bakery owner Val Temple has been baking and selling jam and cream cakes in homage to Kermit the frogs nephew Robin – and calling her green frog topped cakes “Robin Tarts”. That was until good old Trading Standard came a calling.

You see, in the UK, the jack booted group known as Trading Standards are on hand to enforce legislation controlling the quantity, quality, price, description, and safety of most goods and services.

Naturally, this now includes plenty of crazy directives from our masters in Brussels (to which most other countries – except us – ignore). So it made perfect sense that they should go knocking at Val’s bakery door and demanding access to her cakes.

But in spite of having a green and sugary blob in the shape of a frog adorning the top of the cake, Trading Standards were concerned that the consumer might be confused into thinking that the cake actually contained robin meat – and that’s robin as in the red breasted garden bird variety. They even objected to her Miss Piggy cakes as they didn’t contain any pork.

The bonkers officials from Dorset County council have now forced Mrs. Temple to change the name of her cakes because they gave a “misleading impression of the cakes’ ingredients”.

Naturally, these over zealous idiots will now be moving onto their local branches of Tesco where they’ll discover other highly misleading products on sale. These include products such as Cottage Pie without pieces of cottage, Shepherd’s Pie without any shepherd, Rock Cakes without any rock and a Fisherman’s Pie lacking that distinct flavour of fisherman.