Painfully Floored

My body is like a temple – it’s old and falling apart. A good, and rather painful, example of this would be an event that happened in the middle of last night. It’s also something that should probably hasten my quest to find my soul mate.

You see, I was alone in bed – as usual – with my only company being a snoring cat at the end of the bed. I’m not really a very good sleeper and rarely get into a deep sleep, tending to be somewhere in the middle where I know I’m asleep but also aware of my surroundings. It was during one of these slumbering moments that I decided to get comfortable and stretch a little.

Now, for some odd reason, my legs occasionally suffer from cramp. I’ve still not pinpointed why – perhaps it’s from having too much or too little salt, or that I’d been down at the gym the day before, but my body decided that it was time to tell me just who was in charge of things. Perhaps it was a little miffed at not being asleep too.

So, when I did my little stretch, I “tweaked” something in my left calf muscle and, like turning up the volume on a radio, an excruciating pain appeared and got steadily worse. Naturally, this woke me up with a start and had me diving out of bed and hopping around the room in agony. This also managed to wake the cat up who then proceeded to demand to be fussed. From the outside it must have looked like some sort of comedy sketch.

However, it’s not really advisable to dive out of bed whilst in pain and still half asleep because your body tends to get very confused, and feeling dizzy and sick with a pain that simply won’t go away, it tends to take the easy way out and go for a simple “reboot” operation. Unfortunately, Mother Nature – bless her soul – didn’t really think this one through very well.

When I came around, the cramp in my calf muscle had fortunately gone – although my leg still felt very raw indeed – but I had now acquired a really deep and long scratch on my arm where it had caught the side of my desk as I collapsed in a big heap.

I guess I should be really thankful that it was only a scratch, but if it had been something more serious – such as a heavy blow to the head – I could have been laying there for days. After all, without a girlfriend to check whether I was OK – or ring for an ambulance for that matter – I could have been in a right old mess.

I’ve had this sort of cramp before, but this time it really frightened me. Perhaps it was a painful way of telling me not to give up.