List-o-Matic Part II

In a previous entry, I created a list of five famous women I’d most like to invite to a family party.

Naturally the chances of this ever happening are pretty much beyond the dreams of any red blooded man. Mind you, if I ever won the "big one" on the British or Euro lottery I may be in with a whisker of a chance. After all, you have to be in it to win it (the lottery that is...)

Anyway, in yet more flagrant use of a list to fill an uninspiring blog entry, I thought I’d come up with a list of five famous women I’d least like to invite to a family party. Obviously, these people are absolutely nothing like this in real life, but you never know...

1. Kate Moss. You’d probably never see her as she’d keep having to disappear to the bathroom to powder her nose. Would also have to keep a close eye on that icing sugar on the cake.
2. Jennifer Lopez. Just good old Jennie from the block? Yeah right. Probably won’t enter the house unless she got some sort of gift bag from Gucci. Would also need some expensive finger food from Selfridges.
3. Mariah Carey. Possibly a great date as she could do a bit of high pitched singing to keep both Auntie Alice happy and prevent her poodle from running away. Trouble is, before she arrived I’d first have to repaint the entire house, place candles all over the place and then drop rose petals in front of her. She probably wouldn’t be impressed with the mini pizzas either.
4. Charlotte Church. Voice of an angel who’d probably vomit in the salad bowl if given half the chance. Plus she’s Welsh – and you only need ask Anne Robinson about those people!
5. Madonna. Once she’d got her two hours of trantric yoga out of the way she’d probably try and adopt the neighbours children. Would also probably be a strict vegetarian that only ate dandelions – that is until the latest celebrity fad of eating raw meat came along an hour later.