Clarkson for Prime Minister!

So, what’s all the fuss about? With the country falling apart at the seams, house prices falling, the value of the pound collapsing and unemployment increasing, our grumpy old Labour politicians have managed to put down their expenses forms for a moment and start moaning about Jeremy Clarkson.

In case you’ve not heard, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson has said he is sorry for calling Gordon Brown a "one-eyed Scottish idiot" to journalists in Australia. He said: "In the heat of the moment I made a remark about the Prime Minister's personal appearance for which, upon reflection, I apologise."

Still, let’s way up the facts shall we?

One-Eyed – this is true, Gordon Brown lost the sight in one eye after an accident playing rugby as a child.

Scottish – this is true, like most of our illustrious cabinet members who are doing such a fine job of right royally shafting us whilst they fatten up their pensions and feed at the money trough, Gordon Brown emanates from Scotland.

Idiot – this is true. The man is such an idiot who, if asked what day it was, he’d reply with some obscure statement that he’d ultimately blame on the Americans. Or Margaret Thatcher. Or the French.

Oh well, that’s enough politics for now.