Grinning Like the Joker

I think people are starting to think I’m a little bit weird. They didn’t do it before, but I’m sure people in queues are starting to shuffle in the opposite direction to me. Why? Well, I simply can’t stop smiling and I actually can’t remember the last time I felt the way that I currently do.

It’s the little and simple things that are making me smile. Things such as receiving text messages unprompted and out of the blue (I’ve just had one as I type this), having your hand grabbed to be held, sitting on the sofa and having a head resting on a shoulder, the visible and audible squeal of delight as you pass an honest and innocent compliment and being naked and blissfully entwined under the covers.

I can’t believe I’ve come so far in such a short space of time. My past has seen my heart ripped from my chest and nailed to a fence post with previous girlfriends and Match.com exploits leaving me hopeful, but ultimately disappointed. Each and every dating failure – although, let’s face it, there weren’t that many dates on Match.com – left my willing heart bruised and damaged. I never let it show to my dates, but I became pretty insecure and was always ready for what was coming – even if I always tried to remain positive and willing to try.

Even now, laying on the bed, naked and warm together, I still get the occasional thought that she’s about to drop a bomb shell and tell me that’s she’s met someone else. However, as each day passes, those thoughts are slowly disappearing and I can finally stop worrying and enjoy our blooming relationship.

However, I’ve not been alone with those insecure thoughts, as my girlfriend divorced her husband after she caught him cheating, whilst her last boyfriend dumped her after a year and went back to his ex. I think that definitely qualifies her to be a little more cautious than me.

Still, I think our pasts have provided us with something to work on and aspire to something much better and happier. But one thing is for sure – no matter what the outcome is, I’m going to do it with a spring in my step and a smile on my face.