A Funny, But Totally True, Story

Here’s a totally true tale told to me by my mother that happened to one of her friends over the festive period. In order to preserve the anonymity of this particular person we’ll simply call her Mary.

After a particularly hectic Christmas shopping trip around her local Tesco supermarket, Mary decided that a nice hot cup of tea was in order. So off she went to the in store café where she bought a pot and tea and a chocolate Kit-Kat to keep the blood sugar up. Walking amongst the busy tables she eventually found a free table and sat down to enjoy her well deserved break.

Mary hadn’t been sat down long before a man approached her table and asked whether he could sit until he could find a free table. Mary reluctantly agreed and the man sat down with his coffee and chocolate muffin. They struck up a bit of a conversation about how busy it was and, naturally for us British folk, the topic of conversation soon turned to the weather.

But what happened next totally shocked Mary to the point of being left speechless. The mystery man sat across from her picked up the Kit-Kat, broke off a finger and ate it. Still in a state shock, the man once again picked up the chocolate and polished off the last piece. Not sure what to say, but never the less fuming inside, Mary just sat there totally bemused at what she’d just seen.

A short time later, the man noticed a free table in the smoking area and said he was going to go and move to allow him to smoke. Mary, still in a state of shock at the loss of her Kit-Kat, could only nod as the man thanked her and then shuffled off to his new table.

Mary finished her drink and got up to leave. However, in order to exit the café area she would have to pass the Kit-Kat thief. Approaching his table Mary became even angrier and something inside her finally snapped. Passing his table, she picked up his chocolate muffin, took a large bite out of it, smiled and placed the muffin back on the plate. The face on the man was a picture and Mary giggled all the way to her car until, placing her hand in her coat pocket to retrieve her keys, she pulled out her unopened and uneaten Kit-Kat.

Mary is still far too ashamed and embarrassed to return to that particular branch of Tesco.