A Swarm of Butterflies

Recently, I’ve being doing a lot of tooth tapping with my pencil and sorting out my sock drawer once too often. As a result, I’ve decided to once again risk my sanity and dip my finger back into the world of Match.com. But before I do so I thought I’d share with you a time when I had my first major crush on someone.

My crush wasn’t based on some scantily clad poster girl, although Samantha Fox did feature as a fixture on my bedroom wall, but it was a girl I met at college way back in 1988 during my second and final year on a computer course. It was a dizzy time of music from the likes of Bananarama, INXS, Bros and Morris Minor and the Majors. And a girl we’ll simply call ‘L’.

I’d just returned from a two week holiday and, as a person who tans by simply looking at the sun, I was rather tanned. And when I mean tanned, I mean tanned. Need less to say, my reappearance at college caused a bit of a stir amongst the ladies. Unfortunately, when I mean ladies, it was the dinner ladies in the canteen. They fussed over me like I was their child and, much to my embarrassment, insisted on examining my bronzed chest and stomach at every opportunity. It wasn’t quite the result I’d been hoping for - although 'L' nudged my friend and started to ask about me.

‘L’ was the friend of one my friends on my college course and she’d just started her first year. He'd known her from school so, not yet knowing any one, she tagged along with our group. She soon became part of the group and as ‘L’ and I chatted I came to realise that there was this rather strange feeling in my stomach. And it wasn't the pasta I'd had for lunch. I’d had butterflies before, but this was something completely different – this was a swarm of butterflies - and I felt sick and dizzy in her presence. Was it more than just a simple crush?

So, one evening, I got a surprise phone call from ‘L’ – which was a little odd as I’d never knowingly given her my phone number (yes, yes, I know these things now…) so she must have asked someone for it. It all sounded promising and I sensed that this would be the ideal opportunity to see if she wanted to meet up - so I asked.

She said “Yes”, and that it would be a good idea. But there was a major, major snag. She needed my help to get someone she quite fancied to notice her and see if he’d like to go out. I was simply going to be a ruse in an elaborate sting operation. That funny feeling in my stomach stopped instantly and I’m sure my heart stopped beating before a thundering beat rattled my ribcage and brought me back to life. It was almost as if time stood still for a moment before everything faded back in again.

So, with me being the dumbest person on the planet, I agreed to help. Naturally, he quite fancied her too and that was the end of that and as far as I know they were still together when I finished college. I'm not even sure if they got married.

I often wonder whether she really knew how I felt about her – and I still kick myself for not asking her out sooner (although she obviously had serious eyes for someone else). It was also an event I vowed would never happen to me again. I also said that the second time it happened to me – but that’s story for another day...