Am I Getting Paranoid?

There are no voices in my head or anything weird like that, but I’m convinced that people are looking at me as I leave the gym or hard at work there.

I have to keep checking whether my flies are up or if there’s anything hanging out of the end of my nose. Nope, everything always seems to be in order and all body parts appear to be present and accounted for. Do I have a big nose, small nose, bad hair, fat face, slim face, ugly face or even all of them? Am I really getting paranoid?

But rather than concentrating on the negative thoughts, perhaps there’s a positive to these strange “looks” instead. After all, I’m now finding that my current exercise regime is getting a bit too easy, I keep having to increase the weight and machine resistance and my swimming speed has got much, much faster. I’ve also noticed that I’m starting to fill out rather nicely and my polite tan (the sun bed always says “have a nice day” when it finishes) is coming along quite well.

Were those compliments from two (albeit teenage) girls really directed at me? Surely I’m not starting to actually look interesting to the opposite sex? Hmmm, not according to my inbox on Match.com.