Sunday, October 16, 2005

Are we becoming a nation of Bridget Joneses?

What is it with the female population of Great Britain? On one hand, my messages from a completely genuine person with ideals that are supposedly much sought after are being totally ignored (I’m starting to get paranoid and wondering whether there’s actually something wrong with my e-mail system), whilst on the other we’re being warned that the country is becoming a nation of Bridget Joneses (but hopefully without the giant knickers!)

We’re now being told that the ladies are facing a bleak future, with one in three not being in a marriage or having a male partner by the time they reach their mid forties. It is said that, assuming we all survive the bird flu, by 2031 around 20% of women aged between 45 and 50 will have never been married and will have no partner. Who are these people, and why don’t they shop at my Tesco or go to my gym? Are they actually looking for a partner? If they’re not, then the majority of the male population may as well give up now and go and join a monastery.

Anyhow, I’ve tweaked my introduction e-mail slightly and added a few more positive words and restored a paragraph about what I want to try and get out of life. I also recently went for a job interview for a rather interesting IT job. It’s would be a change of career direction for me, but I honestly felt it went pretty well. Hopefully, with any luck, I’ll get called back for a second interview and if it all comes into fruition it will be a major lifestyle change. And with any more luck, the ladies may then just find me a little more interesting and worthy of investigation.

Fingers crossed on all fronts then.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

And still the search continues...

Not had a blog for a while so thought I’d better do an update. Mind you, it’s not because I’m busy beating off women with a stick as I’m currently up to 125 messages without any luck. I’m still not getting any replies either and I’m just beginning to wonder whether I’m simply destined to be single.

It’s not going against my positive and "glass half full" outlook to life, but I guess on the road of life some people are suppose to travel on it alone. Perhaps I’m meant to be one of them. Still, I’ve not given up yet.

Anyhow, here’s a guide to women’s English for those people puzzled by the fairer sex as much as I am:-

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure… go ahead = I don’t want you to
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re not really going to like
Is my bum fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me