The Day It All Started - A History

I thought I understood women, but from my recent failings in the dating game it appears that I still have a lot to learn from both sexes. Do women really want the kind, generous and romantic types? Do they still want to be swept off their feet? Should you hold the door open for them? Should you always pay the bill? And what is it with their handbags that contain everything from the kitchen sink to an amphibious landing craft? But simply, why do nice guys such as myself always have to finish last?

When I first started out on this great journey I would have to say that I was the shy and retiring type who found it hard to chat up women. Sure, I was fine with them socially or in the work place where they always seemed to be just friends and they always commented on how "nice" or "sweet" I was. But when it came to the "after work" part of the routine I was a lame duck. I was beginning to think that I was doomed and destined to remain single, rather depressed and lonely forever.

But joining a local gym seemed to stir something in me. Not only was I rapidly shedding weight (loosing 4 inches off my waist), but I was also feeling healthier and recovering the lost muscle tone from my teenage years. And, dare I say it, I had actually started to think I wasn’t that bad looking after all. Not only did the buzz from the exercise lift me, but for the first time I can remember for a long, long time, I had a new and improved positive outlook on life.
After a few beers for courage I signed up to an Internet dating service, set myself an honest profile, found the best picture I could find, and waited. And waited. Nothing. Remembering that the ladies like the men to make the first move I went searching through the profiles and found a rather good looking and interesting sounding girl. Not expecting much, I fired off a message and to my great surprise I got a reply!

She amazingly liked my amusing stories and after a few weeks "chatting" I plucked up the courage to ask to meet. She agreed, we ate, I paid, we said our good byes and went to our homes. I thought everything went well and that there could be another time. That was until I had to work away from home and in the process of e-mailing got a message from her saying that she was going to give it a go with another man. I was gutted, but I’d forgotten that there’d be other men out there searching to.

It took a while for me to recover from this setback and I didn’t bother with the Internet dating for a few months. But I eventually started again and sent out a few messages without reply. I sent out another message and I was on the brink of giving up when not only did I receive a reply, but somebody had added me to their favourites. Being added to someone’s favourites was a new experience for me and I just had to send a message to say hello. I even got a very warm response back.

Feeling a bit guilty of talking to two people at once I managed to chat without getting their messages mixed up. One of the ladies then asked to meet (yes, asked me to meet) whilst the other was a little unsure, and dare I say shy. I met up with the first women and we appeared to get along OK, although she seemed a bit too "in your face". Still, she was nice, attractive and certainly lived life to the full. Trouble is, I’d obviously failed her test as the next day the now standard "I’ve met someone else" e-mail came through.

But since I wasn’t too sure myself I wasn’t too bothered as I much preferred the shy one. We continued to chat and I eventually asked her out. I was surprised that she agreed and she even gave me her phone number. After a lengthy chat we agreed to meet in a local pub and when she appeared I almost fell over with how attractive she was. We drank, I paid, we had a great time, we said our good byes and went to our homes. I really did think that she could be the one and after another meeting for a meal I so much wanted to ask her out properly.

Although we got on brilliantly, with the evening simply flashing by, I couldn’t quite make my mind up about her signals and the gentleman in me decided that it wasn’t the right time to ask. I decided to wait until next time. However, work got in the way again and whilst away the messages stopped. Nothing, no replies to my e-mails or texts. I was getting worried, and then the fateful text message came. "I’ve met someone else". I still kick myself. I should have asked her on that night, after all, she could have said no, or she could have said yes and the "other bloke" could have been the disappointed one.

But I’m determined not to give up my search. Unfortunately, with a new photograph and improved profile, thirty messages to hopeful contenders later my message box remains empty. Have I had and blown my chance?

Never the less, with only a few wobbles and negative thoughts at the lack of responses, my failures have continued to boost my confidence and self-esteem. And so, for those three ladies who rejected me, I thank and salute you.

This blog is now part of my road to finding a soul mate. Hopefully, rather than failures, you’ll get to hear about a success. But as I continue with my journey I shall value any comments or help that you may have to help me find that one thing I desire so much – to love and be loved. So let that journey begin now.