I think I’m getting old!!

I’ve finally realised something that I’ve been trying to put off for some time, and that’s the fact I’m getting old. OK, being 35 isn’t the end of it all, but when your own mother says, “Oh, you’ve started going grey” it’s hardly something to jump up and down and start celebrating now is it? Another thing I’ve notice is the explosion of hair growth in my nose, so much so that you could almost call it a small coppice. I’m sure during the night I can hear a babbling brook echoing somewhere in my nasal cavity.

It’s something I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about for a while, and perhaps that’s one of the reasons why I’ve started searching for my soul mate (plus a better job with more pay – but that’s a completely different story all together). I also suspect that my hormones have rallied around for one last push before they decide to call it a day and retire to Bournemouth.

I’ve also noticed that a large number of women on the dating site put their cut off ages as 32 or 34. Now, I’ve never felt the forces of ageism before, but that certainly hammers home my advancing years and it won’t be too long before I’m wearing an orange overall and working at B&Q. Still, I guess my few grey threads may make me a little more distinguished and appealing as, judging from things so far, it’s hardly what I’d call a successful venture.

Oh, and as for an update. It’s currently 108 rejections and counting. Right, time to send a few more messages before I put on my slippers and have a cup of hot chocolate. Oh-oh…

100 Not Out…

Unfortunately, this is not a score by some victorious England cricketer, but my current count of messages to women on the dating site and that I’ve not been out with a single one of them. In fact, I think only 4 have even bothered to reply, and that was to tell me that they weren’t interested. Even that rather attractive Russian failed to respond, although my initial suspicions that it was a con may well have been proven.

Still, It’s really hard work keeping my spirits up as just about everywhere I go there are happy couples hand-in-hand, laughing and giggling together and generally looking very happy. It can be at the gym, the cinema or Tesco. You name it; they’re all there. Even the pigeons are in pairs and cooing lovingly to each other. Although it does make my head drop, on the flip side of the coin it is making me all the more determined to find someone. I try to work by my mother saying of “What’s meant for you, will never pass you by” and that all those rejections are their loss, not mine.

Never the less, I still continue to wonder just what women want out of a relationship. There’s a new book called The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-up Artists that has been written by a journalist called Neil Strauss. Naturally, women are up in arms about its content and its so-called “truths” about men’s sexuality, lust, desires and opinion of women as simple sex objects. Although women appear to rightly despise its contents, judging from my mass failures so far, I’m beginning to suspect that it is indeed the sort of thing women are looking for in a man. There just doesn’t appear to be any room out there for a nice guy and they’re all falling over themselves to get to the chauvinistic types.

But why do I think this I hear you cry? Well, to give me a few profile pointers I’ve looked through quite a few of other men’s profiles and the majority of their profiles are just plain rubbish. Even their pictures are hardly Brad Pitt material (although, being a bloke, I’m quite happy to accept that I don’t know what women are looking for when they look at a face – perhaps I should really find out!!). Surely my pleasant and polite profile, friendly introduction message and the reasonable picture should give me some sort of chance? Apparently not. Perhaps I should just send a message saying “Hello daring, give us a kiss!” Tsk, I’m getting all cynical now.

Anyhow, in an attempt to kill two birds with one stone, and as much as I hate having my picture taken, I’m thinking of getting a picture done professionally. Not only can I use it on the dating site as my profile picture, but also it would be the perfect Christmas present for my mum. There’s a local bloke with a studio down the road from me so I may just have to make some enquires.

In the meantime, the hunt continues…

Even The Russian Ladies Are Ignoring Me

I set up that free Internet account with the sole purpose of chatting to Alina, but after replying my new inbox is mysteriously empty. I’ve not even received any Spam yet. Perhaps I was wise in my cautious approach as a scam could well have been in the offing. Still, you never know, perhaps I’m just being impatient and Alina may well write back in a day or two. However, I’m not holding my breath.

My failures continue unabated with yet more messages ignored by the masses of lovely ladies. I did actually get a reply back from one girl who, new to the dating service, obviously hadn’t been inundated with messages yet. Unfortunately, my general and pleasant chitchat reply written in a way to tease out a further reply went down like a lead balloon. There’s another one to cross off the list.

I do feel like a bit of lurker at times, as I tend to keep checking the new members section before jumping in before all the other blokes have start messaging. I’ve even decided to pick out a few without pictures to, as after all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it’s what’s inside that counts the most.

Still, I’m not giving up yet, and I’ve still a good collection of profiles to work my way through yet. Onwards and upwards!

From Russia With Love?

I take a bite of the skeptic fruit every morning, so when I received a message from the rather attractive and interesting Alina from the Russian Federation I suspected a Russian mafia plot was at work.

After all, scammers are most likely to trawl the Internet Dating sites looking for desperate looking sad types, start chatting and before you can say “Chernobyl”, they’ve got a passport, emptied your bank account and you’ve just become a permanent feature of the latest M60 widening work.

I’ve had a similar message from a Russian girl before. I forget the name now, but she looked absolutely stunning and, as such, instantly raised my suspicions. After all, to continue with the stereotypical views, we’re all ugly desperate types on here right? She said she was from Moscow, but since her message originated from Birmingham (I must have missed that bit on the news when it was annexed to Russia) I ignored it.

So again, one side of me is telling me to completely ignore Alina’s message and treat it with suspicion, whilst my other “glass half full” side is intrigued by it all. I’m certainly not desperate, nor am I completely stupid, so I may just set up a freebie e-mail account and send her a reply – if only out of coy interest. But if there’s any talk of money, or concrete, then I’m outta there.

Perhaps I Need a Few "Opional Extras"

Like a face-lift on a slow selling car, the subtle tweak of my profile doesn’t appear to have raised much excitement in the ranks, although one person did at least bother to reply and say that I lived too far away (although, as I only lived about 10 miles away from them I have this feeling they were just being polite – but heck, thanks taking the time to reply!). Trouble is, with over 50 ladies around the North West of England tried (and failed) suitable people are starting to get a little thin on the ground.

So with a fresh haircut, a session on the sun bed, a shower and a set of shiny and healthy looking cheeks, I think that new profile picture is in order. I just need to find a suitable pose where I won’t simply end up looking like a cross between a startled rabbit in car headlights or convict awaiting their fate on death row.

Unfortunately, I’m never one for having my photograph taken so this is going to be an interesting one to sort out. I could use my mobile phone to take a nice outside shot, but since the resolution is so poor I’d simply end up looking like some sort of bizarre abstract painting. No, I think another imaginative shot with the webcam is in order. I’ll keep you informed.